A MONSTER, THE MONSTER

Tujuan esensial pendidikan adalah merangsang otak untuk berpikir.

Kalau kata Pak Mario Teguh ‘why so serious’ tapi pada hakikatnya, Nurul Hanifah Rahmadani ini suka merenungkan hal-hal trivial terus menerus. Salah satu hal tersebut adalah “nilai” ya, yang tercantum indah di pojok kanan atas kertas tes (kata Pak Saptana bukan “ulangan”) dan akan terpajang selamanya di selembar kertas yang diterima murid setiap akhir semester.

Kenapa aku suka complaining ya? Yah, kembali ke hakikatnya aja.

Ironis, sungguh ironis pas aku ingat (sedikit) ke-euphoria-an habis nerima rapor eww. Nilai? (cukup) memuaskan. Tapi kenapa harus senang menerima nilai yang antah berantah dan manipulatif itu? Dulu, aku termasuk yang I don’t give a shit tentang nilai dan karena itu hidupku (luar biasa) nyantai banget! Tapi sekarang, karena urusan PTN dan SNMPTN undangan (which existence is just like a pond amidst the desert) keadaan berubah, term kayak “obsesif nilai” seakan terpancar dengan kecepatan 3 x 10E8 dari aku kali ya? Kehangatan dan kenikmatan bercinta dengan ilmu, sekarang, jadi susah ku rasain gitu. Hal ini lah yang luar biasa, in meus opinio.

Setiap kali guru mbicarain tentang nilai dan tetek bengeknya pas aku kelas 10, pikiranku selalu ‘nilai itu bukan segala-galanya, yang penting ilmunya’ well, sekarang, dengan pikiranku yang (agak) busuk nyimpulin:
FIRST, Tell that to the cheaters. Ya, mereka yang menghalalkan segala cara untuk (agak) membuat nilai mereka kelihatan (cukup) bagus (however, I’m not a hypocrite~ to be honest, “Sejarah dan KWN” sudah jadi satu paket exception buatku)
SECOND, It represents our comprehensions of things we’ve learnt

Nah, dari poin yang ke 2 itu aku mulai mikir. Oke, idenya, nilai di rapor itu merepresentasikan sejauh mana kita mengerti pelajaran yang diberikan. Tapi, itu hanya ide, ideal, kata Pak Saptana hanya ada di pikiran, kalau Pak Noor bilang semacam utopia gitu. Tentu aku ngga membicarakan semua (I hate generalizing things eventho all things I’ve typed are mostly apriori), tapi mayoritas, atau, setidaknya, hal ini terjadi di lingkunganku, atau diriku, at least. Nilai-nilai, yang katanya merepresentasikan ke-paham-an murid, terlalu manipulatif (in meus opinion loh). Kenapa terlalu manipulatif? Karena nilai tersebut mengalami manipulasi sedemikian rupa – baik manipulasi dalam memperoleh nilai itu sendiri dan manipulasi data yang sudah ter-sum. Some people might think “Yaudah sih yaaa toh nilaimu jadi lebih bagus dan ngemudahin jalanmu snmptn udangan nanti” ha ha ha (ketawa miris) gilak, kasihan banget deh bagi yang mikir kayak gitu~ Kesimpulannya? Rapor tidak bisa menjadi media/alat mutlak untuk merepresentasikan kepahaman pelajar. Kenapa? Karena mirisnya, meski nilai terpampang indah (9) dari kelas 10, 3 kali puasa 3 kali lebaran ini aku ngerangkum segala materi kimia, fisika, sama biologi aku belum begitu paham. MIRISSS! Memang begini? Atau Cuma aku aja yang dapet hoki nilai segitu tapi ngga terlalu ngerti apa-apa? Oh wells~ tetep aja, pada intinya, aku ngga mau seseorang dinilai dari nilai rapornya. Ya, aku.

Penutup~ setidaknya, yah, hidup itu isinya ngga cuma tentang ilmu dari buku sekolah, pengetahuan umum juga oke. Eneg dong ya kalau misalnya ngeliat si Pongo pigmaeus langsung kebayangnya kata pertama nunjukin genus, kedua spesies, beserta tata binomial nomenklaturnya padahal yang lebih penting dari itu adalah si pongo yang sudah di ambang kepunahan butuh bantuan kita <3~ hmm atau coba otak diisi pengetahuan yang (jauh lebih) menyenangkan, misalnya tentang Joseph Lister, dokter bedah kebangsaan Inggris yang (agak) berjasa mbantu kita dan masalah bau mulut kita (heeey emang kenapa nama produknya harus Listerine bukan Einsteinine, Linnaeusine atau Rutherforine?) HA!


De gustibus non est disputandum. Ngga ada yang perlu diperdebatkan masalah ‘selera’ :)

appearing to be a fool

Mullah Nasrudin (the central figure in almost all tales of the Sufi tradition) had already become a sort of attraction at the main market in the town. Whenever he went there to beg, people would show him a large coin and a small one: Nasrudin always chose the small one.

A generous man who was tired of seeing everyone laugh at Nasrudin, explained to him:

“When people offer you two coins, choose the larger one. Then you will have more money, and people will not think you a fool.”

“You are surely right”, replied Nasrudin.

“But if I always chose the larger coin, people would stop offering me money, in order to prove that I am a greater fool than they are.

“And then I would no longer receive enough for my food.

“There is nothing wrong with appearing to be a fool, if what you are doing is in fact intelligent.”

-----------------------
got this from Paulo Coelho's blog :)

willy nilly dream

Allah does not expect us to have blind faith without any signs or proofs. And this is why Imam Al-Haddad in prescribing medicine to gain certainty, one of the things he mentions is that certainty is gained by “looking at the kingdom of the heavens and the earth, and the wondrous and astounding creatures that God made them flourish with.” And the proof of this is in the words of Allah:

“We shall show them Our signs on the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that this is the Truth. Is it not enough that your Sustainer is a witness over all things?”

As such, the Qur’an is filled with signs of Allah and constantly encourages us to observe the creation in order to remove any doubts from our hearts.

*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*

I were praying when I had the urge to pour this thing out so that I can be less tense. What's wrong with me want to be a doctor? I understand, already, every people has their own dreams and NOTHING is wrong with it, even, I have to admit (sometimes) the reason behind it, is kinda ridiculous.

I dream to be a doctor and someone inquired me the reason why I want to be so. o yeah, fyi, I didn't quote sentences above for no reason. "because it's my way of life to become closer to God," I answered. naive enough? well, you don't have to tell me that because that someone has already called me a hypocrite for reasoning so. Thus, I will NOT discuss about that thing again with anyone because to respect something seems rather difficult(?) hmph.

It has been a long time since that certain day I told that someone the reason behind my dream and I hate the fact now for telling that someone. Eventhough I'm aware it depends on people, whether they'll assume it just as a wind passing through or like me, contemplating it again, all over again. I am too sensitive not to contemplate about and get hurt by it.

Every people has their own way of life and please, at least, show your most-little respect of it. Thank you.

Frankly speaking, me, myself haven't readied for the high competition. I am neither those geniuses nor those idiots - just a so so. Thus, some people may look down on me but it's alright.

One day if I fail, I'll love to say this cliche words in Indonesian "Tuhan merencanakan sesuatu yang lebih baik di balik ini semua" - God has better plans behind things (failures) happened. but now, as I believe I destine my own life, I will try as hard as I can. All the things I had done, I did, I do, I will do are in the name of the One, the Beneficent and the Merciful.

I do believe his promise written
"And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present"
[Ad-Dhuha : 3]

MY GLASSES NOW

as Ella Fitzgerald's voice floated in my head I'll pour all things I've contemplated

Everything changes, nothing remains without change

that's what Sidharta Gautama has said and sadly enough, the words drift and ended up in the brain of not-so-intellectual-being named Nurul Hanifah Rahmadhani 8D so this brain of me keeps relating - connecting those words with cartoon I've watched, stories I've read, problems I've faced, and there come my conclusion

what has changed is my perspective

now I have different 'window', so practically means I see everything from a different point of view. The comparison? Of course the OLD ME. I believe everyone also has passed through this condition. back then when we were kids, favoritism of cartoons, the eagerness to know how's the continuation but I forget to mention ONLY. Yes, only... This is the difference, at least, I feel it now. When I was kid, let's say I was 6-10 years old, I love to watch cartoon, anime (or whatever we named it) but I only think about the story, which now I realize that THE STORY itself only a part of the entire drops of sweat, spills of imaginations, and from the 'overall' thing, there will always, ALWAYS, be a deep philosophy within it :)

frankly, i feel this immense feelings when I watched Avatar - The Legend of Aang :D funny, isn't it? all that I know back then was a great spirit of the world's saviour trapped in a bald boy's body who can control air element and he must kill (ok, just say kill) the fire's emperor because he was the root of an enormous, major damages of all beings in earth. The last episode I watched was his contemplation of not to kill the fire's emperor because, just make it simple, life is so precious - he was even vegetarian! - but I swear I won't say it as a cartoon for children because the philosophy is sooo complicated (I admit)

Now, instead of enjoying the story, ONLY, I busied myself to think and imagine about the background music, the editor, amazed with the author who has damn crazy ideas!

I also find an interesting novel, written by my favorite writer ever PAULO COELHO! well, his novel narrated about a girl or a woman and her way to 'uncover' her curiosity about sex - as in make love. How I love this scene (so I will put it below and end my post^^) It's about Maria (the prostitute) and Ralf (an artist, painter) at their first encounter

~*~

'Thanks for the anisette, which is disgusting, by the way, but which I will drink to the last drop. I will then smoke a cigarette, and, finally, I'll get up and leave. But you can leave right now, if you want; we can't have famous painters sitting at the same table as a prostitute. Because that's what I am, you see. A prostitute. I'm a prostitute through and through, from head to toe, and I don't care who knows. That's my one great virtue: I refuse to deceive myself or you. Because it's not worth it, because you don't merit a lie. Imagine if that famous chemist over there were to find out what I am.'

( I cut it^^)

'You see that glass of anisette before you?' he went on.

'Now, you just see the anisette. I, on the other hand, because I need to be inside everything I do, see the plant it came from, the storms the plant endured, the hand that picked the grain, the voyage by ship from another land, the smells and colours with which the plant allowed itself to be imbued before it was placed in the alcohol. If I were to paint this scene, I would paint all those things, even though, when you saw the painting, you would think you were looking at a simple glass of anisette.

'In just the same way, while you were gazing out at the street and thinking - because I know you were - about the road to Santiago, I painted your childhood, your adolescence, your lost, broken dreams, your dreams for the future, and your will - which is what most intrigues me. When you saw your portrait...'

Maria put up her guard, knowing that it would be very difficult to lower it again later on.

'...I saw that light ... even though all that was before me was a woman who looked like you.'

[11 minutes by Paulo Coelho]

~*~

May My Hear Always Be Open To Little

may my heart always be open to little birds
who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there's never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

Edward Estlin Cummings
[1894 - 1962]

I call it MARVELOUS

I KNOW NOW! I KNOW THE RITUAL!!

now im seeing javanese traditional ritual, before me...

first, i thought she - the shaman(?) is just a masseuse but then after she has done massaging my mom, the ritual began!!

she asked my auntie to give her a glass of water but then she refused when its a mineral water from aqua, she asked one from a faucet then she put frankincense oil, muttered some words (hella understand that), added a rose, a cananga, and some jasmines. then? muttered some words again~ it takes a long time (umm.. at least one song - appa hae's song) and she gave it to my mom. She asked my mom to drink that in 3 gulp and applied it on the upper forehead(?) then now she mutters something again woaaaaaahhhhh~

O_______O) amazing~ ah! She ask my mom to bring the liquid and burn it when we are home - in bontang in front of our home but before that, my mom have to drink it once again, one gulp

i dont know but i have an interest and kind of amazement with javanese ritual, especially beauty ritual like this one hihihiii :3 oooh i ask mom to do that to me too but she forbid me (of course) im just a 15 years old girl - lil girl, okay, i know

maybe just that ah! and now im in my granny's house XDDDDD mosquitoes are my enemies here D:< aaah my flawless skin~ LMAO
today... I'll visit lots of graveyards! what we call 'nyekar' in eng?! well... I dont know XD

RANDOM I - Mr. Fishy

just wanna share the handsomeness of Super Junior's Prince Fishy ♥.♥)~~ oo wow yeah.. grinning like crazy when editing photo of him

can you see those eyes? Those beautiful eyes that reflected sadness... like he is in agony...

:: aduuh~ hatiku jadi cenat cenut nih tiap liat inii~